Oh my did I miss this keyboard. I missed writing, having a solid place to put my thoughts before they were forgotten. I missed the escape of self reflection, not the escape of brainless and mindless watching (tv)--which is exactly what I've been doing. I've wanted to write, but haven't felt sincere enough to do so. Life has been a damn roller coaster this winter. Not like, the fun kind where you wanna grab a funnel cake and hop back in line, but the "oh my god my palms are drowning in sweat my thighs are sweating and I am sliding around and I am going to slide right out of this damn seat if you don't stop the fucking ride" (catch me on...the tilt-a-whirl) Life has been definitely more of a shove out of my mental comfort and happiness than I would have liked, but hey, I always beg the universe for change to keep me moving. Vwa-la.
Here's a lil update on what's been goin' on the past two months:
I am proud of myself for healing and rebuilding after a break up. I can truthfully say I am okay, I am happy, and I am happy it all happened. Everything about the relationship and the break up bettered me and taught me about myself. I feel empowered and more equipped to help others. I am thankful it all happened and I am thankful for a new friendship. I have grown more than I would if I were able to stay in my comfort zone and a certain someone's arms. Healing is not linear, but I am almost there.
This winter, I also went through a literal uh, what would I call it, a uh, empty abortion. Long story short--I was prescribed misoprostol before an IUD insertion. Woke up to the worst abdominal pain in my life, and later ensued 12 hours of "maybe I should go to the ER..." severe pain, bleeding, and vomiting. PHEW buddy, you bet I cancelled my appointment. That experience alone was more than enough birth control for me. Trojan won't be seeing me for a while.
I was in my first car accident. I hope the big boys in the badges don't read this, because it was definitely my fault. (unless you're the man I rear ended reading this. Then uh, wasn't me.) It was dark and sleeting rain, and two cars ahead of me, someone slammed on their breaks and it was a chain reaction--I was one dang second too late. Luckily, no one was hurt. Except my damn car! R.I.P. airbags and my little bumper sticker mobile. She's in the shop, restin' up. Get ready to be saddled up again! I've been driving my dad's truck lately, and I'm not gonna lie, I...secretly...love it..........it makes my Dixie Chicks album sound 10x more authentic in my very own humble opinion. AND I think small cars fear me. Good. They should. I'll probably rear end them on a rainy night.
Alright, what's next.
I'm re-contemplating my major for the fiftieth time ever. But that's old news. Next.
I dropped my first class ever! WAY too exciting. I was honestly lost to the point of no return the second week of my Statistics class. I really only came to class because I have the funniest damn table group ever. They were there to cry with me through a breakup, bring me candy, buy our table pizza, have to leave the classroom from laughing too loud, and too many jokes. I swear we our work done! Most of the time. But heck, that class was so worth it even though I had to drop it in the end. A weight off my shoulders and some great new friends and memories gained.
Yanno, the past two months have been a wee stressful I'd say. I have a lot going on in my personal life and a lot of things that occupy my brain that I just can't seem to resolve too quickly. But yanno, as I'm writing this, things are not bad at all. In fact, I'm real happy. I always find a way back to happiness and I have done it once again. I hope that things are going well for you, reader, and if they aren't, they will soon. Things can't be all bad all the time. I hope you have friends and loved ones and anyone in between to help hold you together during it all. Life's still got its charm, just gotta look for it a bit harder some days.
Here's a lil update on what's been goin' on the past two months:
I am proud of myself for healing and rebuilding after a break up. I can truthfully say I am okay, I am happy, and I am happy it all happened. Everything about the relationship and the break up bettered me and taught me about myself. I feel empowered and more equipped to help others. I am thankful it all happened and I am thankful for a new friendship. I have grown more than I would if I were able to stay in my comfort zone and a certain someone's arms. Healing is not linear, but I am almost there.
This winter, I also went through a literal uh, what would I call it, a uh, empty abortion. Long story short--I was prescribed misoprostol before an IUD insertion. Woke up to the worst abdominal pain in my life, and later ensued 12 hours of "maybe I should go to the ER..." severe pain, bleeding, and vomiting. PHEW buddy, you bet I cancelled my appointment. That experience alone was more than enough birth control for me. Trojan won't be seeing me for a while.
I was in my first car accident. I hope the big boys in the badges don't read this, because it was definitely my fault. (unless you're the man I rear ended reading this. Then uh, wasn't me.) It was dark and sleeting rain, and two cars ahead of me, someone slammed on their breaks and it was a chain reaction--I was one dang second too late. Luckily, no one was hurt. Except my damn car! R.I.P. airbags and my little bumper sticker mobile. She's in the shop, restin' up. Get ready to be saddled up again! I've been driving my dad's truck lately, and I'm not gonna lie, I...secretly...love it..........it makes my Dixie Chicks album sound 10x more authentic in my very own humble opinion. AND I think small cars fear me. Good. They should. I'll probably rear end them on a rainy night.
Alright, what's next.
I'm re-contemplating my major for the fiftieth time ever. But that's old news. Next.
I dropped my first class ever! WAY too exciting. I was honestly lost to the point of no return the second week of my Statistics class. I really only came to class because I have the funniest damn table group ever. They were there to cry with me through a breakup, bring me candy, buy our table pizza, have to leave the classroom from laughing too loud, and too many jokes. I swear we our work done! Most of the time. But heck, that class was so worth it even though I had to drop it in the end. A weight off my shoulders and some great new friends and memories gained.
Yanno, the past two months have been a wee stressful I'd say. I have a lot going on in my personal life and a lot of things that occupy my brain that I just can't seem to resolve too quickly. But yanno, as I'm writing this, things are not bad at all. In fact, I'm real happy. I always find a way back to happiness and I have done it once again. I hope that things are going well for you, reader, and if they aren't, they will soon. Things can't be all bad all the time. I hope you have friends and loved ones and anyone in between to help hold you together during it all. Life's still got its charm, just gotta look for it a bit harder some days.
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