Things I am learning about myself.

Things I have learned about myself in the past few days:

1. I don't bottle my emotions up. I'm pretty comparable to a coke with a pack of mentos. 

2. I need to be open and grieve in public. I need to be with people. I hate being alone when I am dealing with emotional pain. Usually, I enjoy being alone. But with pain, I have to share, be open about it, talk to anyone with ears, get feedback, cry with people, and connect. I am a social person through and through.

3. Crying is better when you have people around you. 

4. I need to write out my feelings. Pen and paper and this blog are my two best friends at night.

5. Heart break is a physical pain. Yikes. 

6. Lizzo, does indeed, help. 

7. Tinder will not help you feel better, but a hair cut might.

8. I have the most supportive, caring, wonderful friends in my life. I am surrounded by people who love me and genuinely care about me. I did not realize all of the support I had in my life until now. I am very fortunate to have such authentic connections in my life.

9. My coping mechanism is continuing with life. Burying myself with activities, diving into other aspects of my life, keeping myself busy. Realizing my life is bigger than this situation I am in.

10. I need to rewire parts of my brain, but I am thoroughly positive that I can use this experience to grow into a stronger, bolder individual. I want to be an example to those around me that it is necessary and a great thing to be whole by yourself. I will use this to learn to become my strongest individual self again and flourish into someone emotionally equipped, tougher, and more vibrant. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. 

11. There is freedom in the truth. I am now able to explore more of myself and what I need; what was missing and what I need to focus on. There were parts of my life and people in my life I didn't realize I was neglecting. It is freeing to look back without rose tinted glasses, and to see reality how it was. Every loss creates a space for something new. 

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